Ipod Update
By Scott J Harlow | June 11, 2009
The Ipod that I wished death upon, a wish that was ultimately granted by the Apple gods, has come back to life. Much like an episode of Lost, I was duped into believing it was dead. The Ipod probably just needs to resolve a few more daddy issues and then we can put it out to pasture. Wherever Ipod pasture happens to be. I’m thinking Secaucus.
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Date Rape Escapes and Ipod Deaths
By Scott J Harlow | June 1, 2009
A few weeks ago I received a bizarre phone call from my landlord. What made it bizarre? Not my ‘Mambo #5′ ringtone, but the fact that he was asking if I wanted to go to Cirque Du Soleil. Let me start off by saying that I’ve been living in my apartment for about 10 months and even though my landlord lives in the same building I rarely ever see or hear from him.
At first I was a bit taken back by the offer, but he explained that he was taking all his tenants out to see the show. Considering I had never seen Cirque before combined by the fact that I’m broke like Toni Braxton I concluded that it would be silly to say no. So last Wednesday marked my first Cirque du Soleil experience. The show was Kooza and it was playing on Randall’s Island. Considering the island is mostly known for its stadium and mental institution, I felt like it was the perfect settin for Cirque du Soleil.
Right before the show I started thinking about how random this experience was. Who’s landlord invites them to an expensive show? Were there really other tenants going? How do I know it’s not going to just be me and my landlord as he force feeds me red wine in the back of a livery cab on the Triborough? I mean, if I’m going to get date raped by my landlord at least let it be on a Friday. I’ve got work in the morning! As I explained the situation to my friends, they were far from reassuring. Instead of “you’ll be fine.” I believe I got a “yeah that does sound weird” and at least one “those tickets are expensive so you better bring a condom.”
Turns out I had no reason to worry. An hour before the show we met up with his other tenants and all was good. As for the show itself, I was completely impressed. As someone who can’t even touch his toes I’m in awe of the contortionists. That’s some crazy stuff.
On a completely unrelated note, I want an Ipod Touch. On Friday I wished my current Ipod would die so that I could have an excuse to buy one. I’ve had my current Ipod for two and a half years (aren’t they supposed to die???). Not so ironically, the very next day I go to use my Ipod and it won’t turn on. It’s dead. Eerie.
My only hesitation about going in the first place was that the ticket was from my landlord. Let me explain. On a random Sunday afternoon I received a call
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J-E-T-S: Jews Enjoy The Sport
By Scott J Harlow | April 17, 2009
The Jets are upset about their NFL schedule. Why? Because two of their home games fall on Jewish holidays this year. As someone who is an avid football fan (and a pretty big Jew fan I might add), I hate to have to say: “Get Over Yourself and Deal With It!”
The Detroit Lions play on either Thanksgiving or Christmas every single year! Not to mention they haven’t won a game in two seasons. The entire city is unemployed. Yes, the Gross Domestic Product of Detroit is negative 5. And lowly Lions fans still trek to Ford Field, dodging several stray bullets on the way, just to support their team. And do we ever hear them complain?? No! So Jet’s fans, suck it up! There will be plenty of other opportunities next season to watch the Jets lose.
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Headlines: Driving Tests for Alzheimers Patients
By Scott J Harlow | April 9, 2009
Scientists are currently developing a series of tests to help Alzheimer’s patients determine when they should stop driving. The Department of Motor Vehicles is going to start administering the tests, just as soon as they can remember where they put them.
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Headlines: 1-800 Mattress files for bankruptcy
By Scott J Harlow | April 7, 2009
It was reported that 1-800 Mattress has filed for bankruptcy. Leave off the last ‘S’ for severance payments!
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Headlines: Rihanna and Chris Brown recording love duet
By Scott J Harlow | March 13, 2009
Earlier this week it was reported that Rihanna and Chris Brown will be recording a love duet. The song is about overcoming struggles and obstacles as a couple. The name of the single will be “Punch You In The Face.”
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